Thursday, May 21, 2009
my conditions 5/27/09
Hi everyone, it's amazing how weeks go bye so quickly. The last couple of weeks have been tough, but I'm still standing and smiling....have to stay strong, any form of weakness could escalate this disease. It seems to me at this point, the rate of progression appears to have been more steadier. Some symptoms more than others are deteriorating at a horrifying pace. I can't seem to raise my hands/arms to eat...I've gone from 203 lbs to 175 lbs.. I don't mind losing a few, but belly isn't going down, my pants keep falling down, my butt is shrinking..lol I figured another way to eat, seems to work for me; It's hard explain, but it is creative! What's official is I can't button or zip my clothes at all, my wife has been dressing me. I fell a few more times, my dog (beagle/Dotson), pulled me up the stairs, I fell face forward....ooch!! The ALS clinic delivered a loan a motor chair till mine is completed. Facing my seven year old daughter has been hard, but she is doing good (keep her in your prayers). I finally sheds some tears today, though some seems to be laughter? I figure humor and inner peace are keys to slowing the progression. I had a out of the blue thought; has anyone checked to see how many are left and right handed and is that a factor why some go weak waist up, waist down?? All my tools are collecting dust, not able to do much with them..can't pull start lawn mover. I noticed I couldn't tear a piece of paper, package of sugar...having others do things for me OK (I guess), I feel like a baby getting spoon fed. I appreciate all the help and assistance, can't thank everyone enough, my prayers go out to you and your families. I got a new hat couple weeks ago from a dear friend "Maureen", it says "Relax, God's in control"....my faith is strong things could change, I want to see my children's children. Well that seems to sum it up as of now, if I miss anything I'll add it to the next update, I'm getting very tired....Please come back in week or two for updates and thank you all for your prayers, please pass it on....Also please pray the money in, things have been difficult, haven't worked since jan/08, still trying disability. I'm not looking for a hand out just prayers, God provides.............
Thursday, May 14, 2009
God said to listen to your Doctor...
I like many others look to our Doctors to keep us healthy and informed... I am fortunate to be surrounded by the best from the general doctor to the neurologist.... I have something I'd like to share with you from a passage in the Bible called "Sickness and Death" (Sirach 38)
I dedicate this to the Doctors and medical staff who I admire and trust...
Note; (h/s) equals (he or she) - (h/h) equals (his or hers)
Hold the physician in honor, for (h/s) is essential to you,
and God it was who established (h/h) profession.
From God the doctor has (h/h) wisdom,
and the king provides for (h/h) sustenance.
(H/H) knowledge makes the doctor distinguished,
and gives (h/h) access to those in authority.
God makes the earth yield healing herbs
which the prudent man should not neglect;
Was not the water sweetened by a twig
that men might learn his power?
He endows men with the knowledge
to glory in his mighty works,
Through which the doctor eases the pain
and the druggist prepares his medicines;
Thus God's creative work continues without cease
in its efficacy on the surface of the earth.
My son, when you are ill, delay not,
but pray to God, who will heal you;
Flee wickedness; let your hands be just,
cleanse your heart of every sin;
Offer your sweet-smelling oblation and petition,
a rich offering according to your means,
Then give the doctor (h/h) place
lest he leave; for you need (h/h) too.
There are times that give (h/h) an advantage,
and (h/s) too beseeches God
That (h/h) diagnosis may be correct
and (h/h) treatment bring about a cure.
He who is a sinner toward his Maker
will be defiant toward the doctor.
My son, shed tears for one who is dead
with wailing and bitter lament;
As is only proper, prepare the body,
absent not yourself from his burial;
Weeping bitterly, mourning fully,
pay your tribute of sorrow, as he deserves.
One or two days, to prevent gossip;
then compose yourself after your grief,
For grief can bring on an extremity
and heartache destroys one's own health.
Turn not your thoughts to him again;
cease to recall him; think rather of the end.
Recall him not for there is no hope of his return;
it will not help him, but only do you harm.
Remember that his fate will also be yours;
for him it was yesterday, for you today.
With the departed dead, let the memory fade;
rally your courage, once the soul has left.
I dedicate this to the Doctors and medical staff who I admire and trust...
Note; (h/s) equals (he or she) - (h/h) equals (his or hers)
Hold the physician in honor, for (h/s) is essential to you,
and God it was who established (h/h) profession.
From God the doctor has (h/h) wisdom,
and the king provides for (h/h) sustenance.
(H/H) knowledge makes the doctor distinguished,
and gives (h/h) access to those in authority.
God makes the earth yield healing herbs
which the prudent man should not neglect;
Was not the water sweetened by a twig
that men might learn his power?
He endows men with the knowledge
to glory in his mighty works,
Through which the doctor eases the pain
and the druggist prepares his medicines;
Thus God's creative work continues without cease
in its efficacy on the surface of the earth.
My son, when you are ill, delay not,
but pray to God, who will heal you;
Flee wickedness; let your hands be just,
cleanse your heart of every sin;
Offer your sweet-smelling oblation and petition,
a rich offering according to your means,
Then give the doctor (h/h) place
lest he leave; for you need (h/h) too.
There are times that give (h/h) an advantage,
and (h/s) too beseeches God
That (h/h) diagnosis may be correct
and (h/h) treatment bring about a cure.
He who is a sinner toward his Maker
will be defiant toward the doctor.
My son, shed tears for one who is dead
with wailing and bitter lament;
As is only proper, prepare the body,
absent not yourself from his burial;
Weeping bitterly, mourning fully,
pay your tribute of sorrow, as he deserves.
One or two days, to prevent gossip;
then compose yourself after your grief,
For grief can bring on an extremity
and heartache destroys one's own health.
Turn not your thoughts to him again;
cease to recall him; think rather of the end.
Recall him not for there is no hope of his return;
it will not help him, but only do you harm.
Remember that his fate will also be yours;
for him it was yesterday, for you today.
With the departed dead, let the memory fade;
rally your courage, once the soul has left.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
my conditions 5/12/09
Hi everyone, it's been a rough couple of weeks. I got caught up in a lot of things, haven't been on computer that much. I said I would write every 1 to 2 weeks, I'll try to stay on track from this point. Well here goes.....from middle of April till now, many things have happened. I got a real scare a week ago, I couldn't raise my hand to my mouth to eat. I learned another way, I raised my hand and my mouth met it half way....Actually it was pretty funny, it also worked well for me. My left hand won't open wide enough to lift a cup/glass, I have to push it on like a wrench.
I've been in extreme pain in my neck and shoulders lately. When I raise my arm up and out to reach, the pain goes center in my neck. I can still do some stretching, walking is becoming limited, although I have good and bad days. Keeping busy with things around the house, trying not to dwell on things to much, I know my strength is progressively failing. I've been feeling very tired lately, it seems to be a gradual weakness. Buttoning, zippering, etc.. you have one real shot to do it before you run out power, then you need help to finish (I think I explained it right?) I've had some emotional times, last week my daughter asked me to push her on the tire swing, I told her I couldn't, I almost cried. While relaxing on the hammock with my daughter she asked me how old I was. I felt that was an unusual question, I told her 49, but then she looked like she was getting ready to cry? I asked her what was wrong, she asked me if I was going to die, she cried out and said daddy I don't want you to die.... I asked why she felt this, she said I seemed to be getting old fast. I told her no one was dying right now and we all die someday, only God knows that. I told her dying was not a bad thing, some die young some old, we get to go to heaven and be angels. Well I was cautious to say too much and concerned about missing an opportunity to ease some future pain and suffering. She seemed to be content with what I said. Then she asked if she would be an angel someday, I said we're all angels in training now. This week I fell three times, two were from squatting down pick up something up, I fell uncontrollably backwards. The other one was going up stairs, six stairs up I lost my footing, fell forward and straight down the stairs. It felt like I was in a three stooges movies the way it happened. I've been escaping to be alone at times, not from anyone, but a need for solitaire. I go into the garage turn the music up or getting some peace and relaxation from laying out on the hammock. Looking up at the trees and the sky, you're able to block everything out. My youngest daughter's go cart is finally finished with the help of my nephew. She was so excited she asked if I wanted to ride with her down the hill. I paused for a couple of minutes, was afraid I wouldn't be able to get up. Well I stepped out in faith and I'll tell you, (What a ride, good old soap box). My daughter's face lit up, she loved it! Well that's it for now, keep my family in your prayers. Pleas come back from time to time for updates. I'm working on some of my secret recipes, very tasty, you'll love them. Starting some new pages "Lets laugh together", "In my opinion", rewriting "what's it like to die", I want to fine tune it, separate it with "Dying with ALS/MND". Some new pixs are coming, family, friends, things of interests, you'll love them. Also don't forget to pop in on "recommended websites", @ tomorrowisnotmine.com lots of new items, issues and views. As a final note; I asked God to bless, protect and heal all who enters my site, so pass it on......
I've been in extreme pain in my neck and shoulders lately. When I raise my arm up and out to reach, the pain goes center in my neck. I can still do some stretching, walking is becoming limited, although I have good and bad days. Keeping busy with things around the house, trying not to dwell on things to much, I know my strength is progressively failing. I've been feeling very tired lately, it seems to be a gradual weakness. Buttoning, zippering, etc.. you have one real shot to do it before you run out power, then you need help to finish (I think I explained it right?) I've had some emotional times, last week my daughter asked me to push her on the tire swing, I told her I couldn't, I almost cried. While relaxing on the hammock with my daughter she asked me how old I was. I felt that was an unusual question, I told her 49, but then she looked like she was getting ready to cry? I asked her what was wrong, she asked me if I was going to die, she cried out and said daddy I don't want you to die.... I asked why she felt this, she said I seemed to be getting old fast. I told her no one was dying right now and we all die someday, only God knows that. I told her dying was not a bad thing, some die young some old, we get to go to heaven and be angels. Well I was cautious to say too much and concerned about missing an opportunity to ease some future pain and suffering. She seemed to be content with what I said. Then she asked if she would be an angel someday, I said we're all angels in training now. This week I fell three times, two were from squatting down pick up something up, I fell uncontrollably backwards. The other one was going up stairs, six stairs up I lost my footing, fell forward and straight down the stairs. It felt like I was in a three stooges movies the way it happened. I've been escaping to be alone at times, not from anyone, but a need for solitaire. I go into the garage turn the music up or getting some peace and relaxation from laying out on the hammock. Looking up at the trees and the sky, you're able to block everything out. My youngest daughter's go cart is finally finished with the help of my nephew. She was so excited she asked if I wanted to ride with her down the hill. I paused for a couple of minutes, was afraid I wouldn't be able to get up. Well I stepped out in faith and I'll tell you, (What a ride, good old soap box). My daughter's face lit up, she loved it! Well that's it for now, keep my family in your prayers. Pleas come back from time to time for updates. I'm working on some of my secret recipes, very tasty, you'll love them. Starting some new pages "Lets laugh together", "In my opinion", rewriting "what's it like to die", I want to fine tune it, separate it with "Dying with ALS/MND". Some new pixs are coming, family, friends, things of interests, you'll love them. Also don't forget to pop in on "recommended websites", @ tomorrowisnotmine.com lots of new items, issues and views. As a final note; I asked God to bless, protect and heal all who enters my site, so pass it on......
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