my conditions 08/18/09

As I see different things happening, it reminds me that the hard part has yet to come. My arms and hands are becoming more and more difficult to lift and hold. When I type, I have to keep switching hands it hurts so much. I can barely lift my arms off the table. What it tells me is my arms and hands are shutting down. I can hardly speak at this point, it's starting to get a little scary.
The lesson learned this week is there are two ways of dealing with things: accepting and reality. Accepting is based on surrendering all your emotions, thoughts, and abilities. As an example, as the disease progresses, you begin to fight and think in desperation. When your muscles are weakening, what's left is to do exercises to strengthen your muscles, but to exercise speeds up the progression. So, now it becomes surrendering to the disease to stay alive as long as possible. Now, you start thinking beyond your normal thoughts and comprehension of ways to stop or slow down the inevitable. What's left are prayers, support, and faith that somehow you won't face the same conclusion as many others. Your hope and prayers are based on technology, support from the many people around you, and the hope that God will have mercy on you and heal you.
So, as a final thought, reality is based on what you see, and what you're told. When someone tells you what will happen and how it's going to end, and when you find yourself being the one it's going to happen to, it is a whole different awakening. The only thoughts you're left with are staying alive, preparing legalities, and comforting your loved ones around you.
As it's written, hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.